Starting or creating a family office
What Should the Office Do When Family Members Disagree About Its Priorities?
Short answer. The office should return the disagreement to the family's written values and objectives, and to its agreed decision rights. Clarify the office's purpose, record where views differ, and give the family a structured way to resolve open questions. Until then, keep work within the priorities and authority already agreed.
When family members disagree about priorities, the office should follow the family's written purpose and decision rules. If those are missing or too vague, pause decisions that depend on the unresolved issue and help the family reach agreement before committing resources.
Return to the Family Compass
Start with the family's written values and objectives, along with its investment mandate. These should explain what the office is there to protect or accomplish and which needs come first. A written family compass gives relatives and staff a shared reference when preferences differ. If the family has not created one, make that a planning priority. Discussing and documenting priorities can reveal assumptions that have not been openly addressed.
Make the disagreement specific. Separate questions about the office's purpose from questions about a particular investment or service, or a family member's request. Record the options, who is affected, and what decision is needed. Do not let an individual family member's preference become office policy through informal instructions or repeated requests.
Use the Agreed Governance Process
Check who has authority to recommend or approve a decision, and who carries it out. A family council, board, or investment committee may have a defined role. Each body needs a clear charter and priorities, along with agreed meeting expectations. Put the matter on an agenda, share relevant information beforehand, and record the decision and its rationale in meeting notes. If no process exists for the issue, the family should agree on one before staff are asked to act.
The office leader can organize the discussion and present operational consequences, but should not quietly choose which family member's goals prevail. Keep implementation within existing authority while the question is open. If a decision affects investment policy or spending, or changes family access to services, refer it to the people authorized to make that decision.
Make Disagreement Manageable
Give each affected branch or generation a chance to explain its concerns, then identify areas of agreement and the specific points still in dispute. A neutral facilitator or adviser may help when family relationships make a direct conversation difficult. The goal is a usable decision that staff can follow, with no requirement for forced unanimity on every preference.
Once the family decides, document the priority and the people responsible, along with any limits or review date. Communicate the result to relatives and employees who need to act on it. Revisit the family compass and governance documents when circumstances change, so the office does not have to resolve the same disagreement from scratch each time.
For a practical foundation, review how to create a family compass or family office governance. See also investment committees and advisory boards. Families defining the office's remit can read how to define the office's purpose and scope.
The process of doing this is part of the benefit.
Sources: How to Start a Family Office, The Single Family Office. Informational only, not financial, legal or tax advice.